Sunday, August 17, 2008

just felt like writing this out somewhere right now(:
im such a 'feel-like-doing-this-so-just-do-it' person.

anyway.
i had such a wonderful break.
i mean i havent been through a really, crazily hectic schedule,
but i just felt like i needed a day right then, where i could just stay at home and chill.
and yesterday was just it.

on fri i went to visit my godmum(: and i had an awesome time there. they have 2 dogs now! a new golden retriever which is sooooooooooooo lovable and friendly haha. feels like marley just jumped out of the 'marley and me' book. but im glad i got to see them all again. but i was so tired i didnt manage to talk to them more, i just fell aslp on the couch at 9pm. and my godmum got me to go up to the study and sleep instead.

i left the next morning at 7plus and i walked with my godmum to the busstop.
she's such a gift in my life.
im in no way blood-related to this family but they raised me like i was, and i wasnt angelic when i was a kid. and i gained 2 protective godbrothers through this all who always watched over me and add humour to my life (:
i talked to my godmum about my life right now until the bus came.
when i boarded the bus i told myself to dedicate more time to this family i am miraculously tied to.

so went for a swim by myself and thoroughly enjoyed it haha.
love the sun, the water and the fact that im MOVING.
one thing about my work is, im tired after work and i wouldnt BUDGE at home, let alone go out and exercise. and i totally detested that.
i feel like i need to MOVE, exercise or something.

towards late afternoon, i decided to go for a jog around the neighbourhood (:
and it was such a joy just listening to music and jog leisurely.
and sometimes enjoying the scenery, like father and son playing soccer on an open field. really heartwarming and cute to watch(:

the whole day yesterday was just like me-time.
i did whatever i wanted to.
sang, watched olympics, read,exercised,played stepmania :D
simple things that just complete a nice break.

and soon i'll be back in school with test, homework and some issues to settle.

my caregroup leader sent me this:

but we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not depressed; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.. 2 Corinthians 4:7

thought it was pretty nice(:

i will pray for this team
there'll be a change.
just hold on people.

Posted by jm(: at Sunday, August 17, 2008

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

erjie(:

to my dearest er jie:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY(:
im not sure if you read my blog anymore.
but i hope you're doing well over there!really miss you ever since you and nik went over.
still love you k(:

Posted by jm(: at Wednesday, August 13, 2008

finally done with my book titles.
and now i have lists of universities to settle.

i guess if i never went i wouldnt feel such a strong attachment.
but i did.
and i feel like i wouldnt wanna be anywhere else.

today seems more difficult.
i feel so listless, dreary.
but i know i still have to complete my work.
and i have to stop feeling like this.

oh God.

Posted by jm(: at Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

faith

im sinking into the 'think about last time' mood(:

was reading the eng notes on university application essays.
a sample question asked," how does your room...describes you?"

and i realised that when i was young i folded lots of A4 paper (i spammed A4 paper like no tomorrow when i was a kid :p), wrote how i felt on them, and pasted them on the wall infront of my desk. i wrote bible verses, song lyrics and my own feelings.

hahaha im not sure how i should describe my young self. i always went back to God when i was young. i mean, i wasnt an extremely strong believer, avid reader of the Bible and all, but... He was my sanctuary.

all these messages/notes on the wall are old and yellow with age. but i pretty much couldnt bear to tear them down.

One said 'God draws straight lines with crooked strokes'. i lost that heart knowledge long ago. but im thankful that i can see it all again.

(:

miss you, sam.

Posted by jm(: at Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Thursday, August 07, 2008

at work!

at work now!

anyway im currently tasked to do this:
every book has an ISBN code(not the same as book code). so i have to go and find the book cover pics according to the book code and save them as the ISBN code.

n ive got 350 more book titles to do ):

really wish i was more IT savvy, geek-ish, so i could write a programme that would help me complete these tasks. wouldnt that save money/time/energy and add more joy to my work?(:

ANYWAY. thank God i have an ipod. its not so bad doing all these 'mechanical' stuff when u can rock, sway to the music. used to love this song 'the art of losing' by american hi-fi. now its back to liven my work. awesome song

but a really really really awesome part of working here is the resource library.
i wish i could OWN IT. hahahaha
me n jas would always go n borrow magazines like national geo (freq updated!), time, and some scientific mags.
really really love readers' digest. i shall go n source some out on my own. cant believe my mum stopped its subsciption without me knowing. ):
and now national geo's climbing up on my list.

all these magazines have like really amazing stories.
like about the heart -there's this one issue they show u pictures from an operation involving an artificial heart! :O
about memory - 2 extremes of memory. a person who rmb every single day of her life since she's 11. (now she's 41).
about nepal's situation, maoism, child soldiers.
about army medics, all the emergencies they face.
about medicine and evidence-based medicine.

if not for the availability of these magazines and conferences, i would be trying 100% to refrain from being grumpy and sleepy at work everyday haha. but anyway the bosses and people here are really really approachable(: so yeah, its still cool.

its weird that being in my office is like experiencing winter.to prevent all these comps from breaking down?? im like wearing a jacket plus a pullover (thanks jas(: ) n im still freezing. steph wouldnt be able to survive here! haha. but cold is definitely better than hot (:

realized i havent been watching my D Gray man! was pretty occupied with house mascot and whatsoever, that i totally forgot. shall catch up sometime

ohmyyyyyy.
350 more book titles.

Posted by jm(: at Thursday, August 07, 2008

Saturday, August 02, 2008

NOBEL(:

hahahaha.
wow man.

seriously didnt know i'd feel so elated and lifted when our house won the cross country and mascot events!

really feels so surreal (:

yesterday was cross country/2.4km beach run. so we all had to run 2.4km, and if you're in top 10 i think your house gains points accordingly. not sure if top 10 really helps, but top 5 confirm will contribute points (: and so we compete in lvls. starting from yr 6 guys, then yr 6 girls and so on.

glad i ran with yunzhi! i think if i didnt i might have been more complacent :/ but thanks a lot (: so ended up in 9th position for my lvl! o well, when i heard from mikel that top 10 gives points i was really thankful(: at least that could give my house a few points! haha.

anyway the mascot performance was amazing. not amazing in the sense that it was amazingly beautiful. it went pretty well, though we didnt find a drum to throw to aaron and so on. but it was amazing, that feeling when all our efforts come to this final point and we just had so much fun doing what we did.

like every hit on the drum by the drummers, we knew it was from fun and joy performing with our teammates. and i was scared before i sang. but i talked to God and His strength will flow through my voice. and i just felt..free to perform. and i never acted so ra-ra-ish infront of the school haha, not even when i was performing for bands. but i was a little siao, jumping around and trying to clap my hands.

i guess during pracs i was so free to be so hyped up. i mean no one said anything that would hold me back. for that, im so thankful. im not restricted by pointless remarks and in our group, i just need to perform according to how i feel. maybe the team helped scrape off some of my self-consciousness (: thank you

the past week plus has been dam awesome. i didnt know it would take so much time. i was like perpertually tired. school then do mascot til late in the night, intern then come back to school to practise. there were quite alot of such days. and even though i expected myself to say 'oh crap go home so late again' but couldnt feel that. felt like it was such a gift, a joy, to be able to do all these. and always got to talk to people while doing it all, like nat, mayfong, mikel and so on. definitely it all brought us closer. sometimes people ask 'why are the seniors doing it and not the younger ones?' dont think we were selfless, but we were selfish in the sense that we WANT TO DO IT. because we gained so much.

prob never thought we had a good performance, mascot right from the start. like when we were making the paper mache, i was like 'what are we doing???' but sometimes when people just stick through, and spill their ideas, it will happen. like what nat said, every part of the dragon and performance has a story. LOL

really cool how we had random ideas (alot of interesting ones) and we just spill it all out. it'll even take walks around the school at 9pm to find some inspiration. it was just so peaceful, and nothing was distracting.

was on my dad's bike heading towards east coast park when i was just like, talking to God. prayed that it wouldnt rain, because that day was the right timing. and i felt like whatever stamina i used to have kinda degenerated. but this feeling of being so blessed was instilled in me and whatever horsepower i need, it'll be from Him. i dont think i need to be in first position to know He helped me. at whatever position i was, i was really joyous. to be able to run this race without music pumping me, but with Him.

WOOOOO!
went out with revolution after nat, mayfong n me ate lunch at clementi. like an impromptu gathering with the band haha! and the whole day i was fueled by this joy. cant believe nobel did it. cant believe the feeling's dominating. great job to all people who ran like crazy(:

im missing it all already.

NOBEL(:

Posted by jm(: at Saturday, August 02, 2008

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Where the Love Lasts Forever
Hillsong United.
IHeartRevolution Album.

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I’ll stand.

(Pre-Chorus)
In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.

(Chorus)
So I throw my life upon all You are,
‘Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever.

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever Yours I’ll stand.


(Bridge)
And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave Your life away,
Just to save me, Lord You saved me.

With You, where the love lasts forever.

and i just know.
that even though i lost some things, i still have this amazing gift from God.
Your Love sustains me through trials and all

i wanna go Pesta sukan ):
but there's nth that we can do abt it.
when it used to seem so promising.
can only look forward now.

Posted by jm(: at Sunday, July 06, 2008

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

hitting the mark(:

ok haven updated after camp cos i was lazy,busy, and unwell. thank God my fever went down ytd(: rly dont like to lie in the bed, stoning and feeling disorientated. hahaha

this arrow camp is named : Hitting the mark. (:

and its been really dam awesome u know.

first of all, in my camp group, there were my cg girls (because the guys are serving) and the 3 boys from another cg. n initially i was like 'ok crap. everyone's the quiet type. nobody's gonna share, everyone's gonna mind their own business' yeah really had that feeling and part of me didnt look forward to the camp.

but God does amazing things, n u dont even have to be an amazing person to start with. sharing sessions initially were really dry. like people withheld, didnt want to be vulnerable and all. but it just got better and better (: n the last sharing session (from abt 11/12am to 4am :D ) was just so blessed. because we just say whatever we want, we were willing to be vulnerable and just confessed everything. n no one looked at each other differently, because we can identify with each other. yeah so its been so rewarding and remarkable (:

yep so new friendships made and old friendships strengthened! haha the 3 guys were usually isolated but they began to mingle and the girls started bullying them HAHA :P but yeah they've always been gentlemanly lol. oh n our camp group name was...PISTIS..LOL funny name. but it means 'faith' in hebrew :D

we had this poolside party and the jc ppl are dressing up as sushi! and for my group we're octopus sushi :D so we made like suppeeeeeerrrrrr cute lil octopus hats HAHA and yeah we just look delicious. n HAHA i drew braces for the octopus mouth for some ppl xD

and yeah i really received from the services.(:

its not like tons of revelations bombarded me all the time, but its just that at some points i would receive something. actually for some services, i was really tired and yeah i was shutting off, even for praise sessions.HAHA some people said that they were swaying from side to side cos they would fall aslp if they stood still. xD yeah but i agree with room-mate who said that sometimes even tho we're shutting off, the message will still get to us. its like... something that we needed to know. so it'll still get thru. somehow.

n really thank God for my roomies phoebe and serene(: its like no matter how tired u are, when you go back to the room and rest, they're there to listen and share ANYTHING and be so 'brutally honest' (quote from phoebs haha) n even in our own chit-chat sessions, i can receive. its been really really awesome staying with them yea. miss those 'lie-on-the-bed-and-share(n EAT SINFULLY)' sessions haha. and really just got to know them both better(: i love you guys!

after the camp i had a different perspective. and i came back awashed and renewed in faith (PISTIS :D) n i began to love my cg more and more (: we do have people who understand, encourage and are vulnerable to share about anything, deep or shallow, important or trivial.

Praise God(:

Posted by jm(: at Wednesday, June 18, 2008